Sunday, November 15, 2020

So Tired After CrossFit

Heard coming out the café where a woman had a brunch buffet with a girlfriend: She met a friend from the high school days.

Him: - How are you doing?

Her: - I am so tired after four hours of crossfit.

Lady friend: - Honey, it's called croissant, and you had four of them...


Don't you all know that odd moment when you wish your friends had lost their voice? 👀

Thursday, March 14, 2019

The Newly Wed Daughter Phones Home

The newly wed lady calls her mother crying:
- Mum, we had our first argument today!
- Never mind. It happens in all marriages, responds the mother.
- But what should I do with the corpse?

Have a nice weekend. :-)

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Watch the Language, Young Man

A mother was preparing dinner in the kitchen, and could hear her son playing with trains in the living room. She noticed the train stopped, and her son said: "All you lazy SOBs who need to get off better hurry, and to all the idiots who are getting on board: get your asses moving. We need to move on."

She was shocked, and hurried into the living room and said: "We don't use that type of language in this home. As a punishment, you can go to your room for an hour. You can then play with your trains when you can speak decently!"

An hour later, the boy is playing with his train again. The train stops, and she hears her son say: "To all passengers leaving us, I want to thank you for travelling with us, and please do remember all your luggage. We hope you have had a pleasant trup." She heard her son continue: "To our new travellers I want to wish you welcome on board. We shall do our best to ensure you have a pleasant journey. Please find your seats before we take off."

The mother smiled with pride, when she suddenly heard the boy continue: "And if any of you assholes are disappointed that we are delayed an hour, you can go talk with the fat lady in the kitchen!"

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Between Lovers

He: - If you won't marry me, I'll shoot my brains out!
Her: - That would be a big surprise for my dad. He doesn't think you have one.

Have a nice day :-)

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Renewing of the Sex Life

He was complaining to his friend that sex with his wife was boring, and the friend said:
- You need to be creative, think new thoughts, break the routine. Play doctor for an hour. That's what we do.
- Sounds exciting. But how do you get it to last for an hour?
- That's the easy part. Put her in the waiting room for 55 minutes...

Wishing you all a good weekend - and a merry X-mas ahead. :-)

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The Length of the Honeymoon

The boss was talking to his employee before his wedding, and was curious about the length of vacation he needed for his honeymoon. He starts by asking: "Now that you are getting married, how long do you plan on being away for the honeymoon?"
The employee answers: "Well, how long would you suggest?"
The boss answers: "I can't say. I haven't seen the bride!"


Monday, May 15, 2017

President Reagan Telling Soviet Jokes

In these times, we need a good laugh from a long missed President. I leave the scene to former US President Ronald Reagan with a video from Youtube:

Enjoy. :-)

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Three Men In a Bar

A Frenchman, an American and a Russian are enjoying a beer in a bar after a meeting between their countries.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Between Friends

- Do you know why they play so little cards in Scotland?
- No...
- No one wants to deal...

Have a nice weekend everyone :-)

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Good Question About Hotels and Mini-Bars

Why are there bibles in hotel rooms, when there are no mini-bars in churches?

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)