Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Get the ballerina a drink...

A drunk is sitting at a bar when a woman stands behind him and raises her arm really high to get the bartender's attention.

She has very hairy armpits. The drunk sees this and yells at the bartender, "Get the ballerina a drink." She gets her drink and goes away.

Later she returns and raises her arm again. The drunk sees her and yells to the bartender, "Get the ballerina another drink." She gets her drink and goes away again.

The bartender asks the drunk how he knows that she is a ballerina given that she is a stranger and has never been in the bar before.

The drunk replies, "She's got to be a ballerina if she can lift her leg that high."

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Old love never dies...

A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security.

After waiting in line for quite a long time he arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realised he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks.

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

He opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair.

She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," as she processes his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants -- you might have qualified for disability, too."