Between Friends

- Do you know why they play so little cards in Scotland?
- No...
- No one wants to deal...

Have a nice weekend everyone :-)

Good Question About Hotels and Mini-Bars

Why are there bibles in hotel rooms, when there are no mini-bars in churches?

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

The Lawyer to the Widow

The lawyer had just read the will of the late millionaire.
The widow asked whether he had misread the will, and the lawyer replies: "No, I didn't misread his will. He gave his fortune to the hospital, and his brain to you."

Have a nice weekend. :-)

Between Friends

- You must remember what you give away, because it is said it comes back double.
- It's true. Last year, I gave my daughter away, and now both she and her husband live at our place...

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Preparations for Bar Mitzvah

The rabbi was preparing the kids for bar and bat mitzvah, and asked the girls: - Who was the first man?
One girl blushed, and said: - If the rabbi doesn't mind, I would rather not talk about it...

:-)

Some Things Are Not Healthy...

Two friends are discussing health. One of them has begun a better diet, and suddenly, the subject is on drinking juice.
Nicole: I prefer juice that has residue from oranges, so you know where it's coming from...
Angelina: Well, as long as I don't get minced meat in my milk, I'll be fine!

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Fun Video With Achmed - The Dead Terrorist

I simply must share this video with you. I discovered it yesterday when I saw some other videos in my timeline on YouTube, and this one is great:



Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Friends Talking About Diets

Between friends:
- Have you found a good recipe for your diet?
- Yes. I drink a lot of whisky, get drunk, and fall asleep. When I wake up, I have a hangover, and can't eat for at least two days.

Have a nice weekend everyone. :-)

Smart Doctor

The regional doctor drives through a small village with his wife.

She suddenly bursts out: - Don't drive so fast. You know the local policeman is on patrol today.

He replies: - No worries. I ordered him a week in bed to recover from a flu.

Have a nice weekend everyone :-)

Riddle of the week

Source: Clipartpanda.com - free clipart

- What is the similarity between meteorologists and doctors?
- ???
- They are paid well regardless of whether they are right or wrong...

:-)

Mother-in-law

James had a visit from his mother-in-law, and the day before she was to go home, she asked: - James, do you remember when my train departs?

- I sure do. In 19 hours, 22 minutes and 34 seconds.

Have a nice weekend everyone

Blondes and Brunettes

A blonde and a brunette are watching the evening news. They are showing a feature about a man that wants to jump from a bridge.

The blonde and brunette make a wager about whether he jumps.

The blonde says no, and the brunette says yes.

The man jumps.

The brunette: - I'm actually cheating. I watched it yesterday, and knew he would jump.

The blonde: - So did I, but I didn't think he would jump again.

A Pain In the Ass CEO

The CEO of the company was known as a really nasty guy, which caused one of the employees to say: - "If there is such a thing as reincarnation, I hope our boss is reborn as a human being..."

Have a nice weekend everyone :-)

Child Wants a Baby Sister

Child: - Mummy, you once said you would buy me a baby sister when they were on sale.
Mother: - Yes, why do you ask?
Child: - Look at the sign over there: Children half price!

What's the Penalty for Bigamy?

- What's the penalty of bigamy?
- ???
- Twice as many calls from the bank manager - and two mothers-in-law...

Have a nice pentecost everyone. :-)